Two years ago, Sunday Inquirer Magazine came up with a gift-giving issue that featured different organizations supporting different causes. I was specifically asked not to write about animal welfare because I’ve been writing about it for the longest time.
I already knew what I wanted to write (and wanted to give exposure to) that time; it’s the cause I’ve long wanted to support but for some reason I was unable to.
I searched the web for organizations that support the elderly and I arrived at Hands On Manila. I initially considered the shelter in Paranaque but later decided against it because it was too far. The name Kanlungan ni Maria struck me and dialed the number right away without realizing it’s in Antipolo. The staff of Hands On Manila immediately linked me to Fr. Uldarico “Dari” Dioquino of Kanlungan ni Maria and the visit was set.
I knew it’s going to be depressing. I’ve heard stories about shelters or nursing homes to be really sad. The seniors were left there by their families but I was not prepared for the heartache after I interviewed one of them. Yes, I cried on my way to the office.
Looking after the elderly is not just a Filipino thing but a part of the Asian culture. In most Koreanovelas, one can’t help but notice how Koreans respect the old, their word, and most of the time the last decision come from them.
This is perhaps one of the reasons putting the elderly in a nursing home is still a touchy issue for Filipinos. The mere idea of sending parents or grandparents to nursing homes may elicit disapproval from others.
There are close to 20 elders staying at Kanlungan for several reasons. Most are abandoned and was referred by the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD). Father Dari is grateful for the volunteers and donors who consistently send donations and help so the nursing home can accommodate more elderly.
Kanlungan ni Maria opened its doors to seniors on May 1, 2002. It has already looked after and cared for at least 60 seniors aged 60 to 88. Some of them managed to reunite with their families while the others have passed away without a glimpse from their loved ones.
The day at Kanlungan starts with a Mass with Father Dari. Social workers and volunteers take the elderly for a walk within the subdivision. Many able seniors help out in household chores and this is one good exercise so they can feel that they are still able and can do things. In this way, they retain their self-respect and self-confidence forgetting the idea of self-pity.
The nurses check on them twice a day, giving them their medicines. Several social workers are hired to take care of the seniors’ needs such as feeding and bathing. Board games, TV, knitting, and reading make the seniors busy.
Father Dari said that God provides even in the most uncertain times. When their resources are already depleting someone would give them almost the exact amount they need. Many Filipinos have a good heart and donate food. There were celebrities, according to Father Dari, who chose to spend their birthdays with the elderly. Other donors drop in with adult diapers, toiletries, fruits, bread, or just about anything that the seniors need.
What the elderly need the most is socialization. Father Dari said, they would lit up when they see guests drop by. There are those who would tell their life story over and over again. They obviously miss their loved ones and they want to see more than the usual people at the shelter.
While Kanlungan wants to take in more elderly and help them feel loved and appreciated, the shelter cannot just take in walk-ins for legal reasons that is why Father Dari works closely with DSWD.
In other countries, nursing homes don’t have that much of a negative image. Families still visit their seniors regularly. Their culture does not condemn families who pass the caring to others. But the Philippines and Filipinos are not yet ready for that, for now. There is still resistance to the idea. It all depends on how people would like to look at it. Right now, the type of nursing homes the country has are not the retirement homes that families can bring their seniors and still visit regularly but only the ones for the abandoned.
If you want to help, Kanlungan ni Maria is a non-stock, non-profit organization and is located at 17 Lanzones Road, Nayong Silangan, Antipolo City. Tel. No. 650-8102, mobile 0915-6002631. Email: kanlungannimaria@yahoo.com.
