Posting here is not an immediate task until a friend pointed out that I haven’t been updating it for a while. I’m not tinatamad, I just felt there is nothing interesting enough to write.
I know this is one way of communicating with friends from afar. In fact, I feel I’m much closer to my friends abroad than those who are here with me in the Philippines. Well, maybe because we often take for granted those who are near to us or the things we already have.
Anyway, where do I start?
I’m now doing what I’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t. I’m freelancing and am currently volunteering in animal welfare groups. Well, my job doesn’t pay as much as that with my last two employers but it’s the first time I can really say that “I like what I’m doing…so far.” I always include that part “so far” because I know that time will come when I’ll tire of doing the same thing over and over again; I will find something else to do different from the previous one although I’m already sure of what I am capable of doing and I hope that it will arm me in my journey into this bloodsucking, no bed of roses yet wonderful world.
Life is a journey. Cliché but it is.
As I look back, everything that happened in my life was a preparation for what I am destined to do in the future. But of course we don’t realize that when we’re young and idealist and naïve.
I still have bouts of mini-depression, the longing of security of a bigger paycheck, the idle times just chatting about Hollywood and books I read with my best friend during office hours and the occasional travel perks.
But I no longer feel unlucky with the consequences of my decision because it led me to where I am now. The path getting here was hard: 6 months of hell in a market research company (the pay was way better but as I mentioned, it’s hell).
I’m not saying there will no longer be bouts of “sayang”. I miss media events, the months of monetary benefits, the parties toward the end of the year, the overflowing food, the gifts, and most especially the different types of people I get to work with. Yes including the assholes and the slave drivers.
But if I want to survive which I have every reason to now ;) I need to focus on the good things. I learned that what we thought was important in life turns out it wasn’t at all.
Simple things like: I learned that I can survive without a credit card! I used to have three and I always felt cool when I bring out the gold card. I also learned that eating out is not only bad for the pocket but bad for health too. We never know what other people put into our food: tons of MSG, flavoring, salt? I learned that I am not deprived if I don’t get to have the latest signature stuff in the market. Yes, of course who wouldn’t like it but hey, we have to set priorities. I learned that the fastest way to get where I’m going is not by cab…but by walking. In this Metro Manila traffic? You’re kidding me. Even with all the pollution, I still prefer to walk (as long as the sun is not that hot :P)
I’m still vain. I still watch fashion shows and beauty and modeling programs on TV. I still want to be updated with the latest fashion trend even if I don’t buy them because they are ridiculously priced, I still like to know who’s the newest Hollywood star or the latest Victoria’s Secret model, who’s on the cover of GQ, where Brad Pitt’s going to build another house, or whose ass will my favorite tennis star Roger Federer’s going to kick.
Even if you’re vain you can still put something in your head and heart. Doing noble things doesn’t mean becoming a drag or vice versa. It’s just a matter of balancing two things. We can’t have the best of both worlds but we can pick the nice things we can afford to keep in those worlds.
It’s just a matter of how we look at things. We cannot always want what others have. Sometimes, we have to learn to want what we already have. I learn to live simply…so the others--like the poorer ones and the abused animals--can simply live.
At the end of the day (literally, this is the most abused phrase these days but I really mean “at the end of each day”) when I shut the office door behind me, after I sent my last accomplished assignment for the day, if all my projects bear fruit, and if I can change the life of one animal into a better one, I can say I’m fulfilled.
Money cannot buy the sense of making a difference in the world.
